SO, 2015 is nearly up and instead of making a list about the best things that did happen, I'm focusing instead on the best things that didn't happen again this year. Let's face it, it was a shitty year. But it could've been worse.
1. EVERYBODY STOPPED TALKING ABOUT MICHAEL SAM
OK, don't get me wrong. Michael Sam is F-I-N-E. Now, I don't know anything about the NFL, but after more than a year of reading about Michael Sam I'm still none the wiser. How is it possible that in this day and age so much media hype was devoted to someone who never got given the chance to do what he was trained to do? Instead he was reduced to a DWTS contestant, a possible Grindr user and a target for more blatant homophobia from industry and media alike.
2. FROZEN BECAME A DISTANT MEMORY
I'm chalking this one up to ice bucket territory. You know, global warming actually achieved something positive. I think Global Warming should've been Time's 2015 person of the year for making all the Frozen stuff stop. Not Angela Merkel.
3. GREECE'S AND EUROPE'S ECONOMIC WOES SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED
Speaking of Merkel, wow, what a difference a year can make. She went from being the devil to Europe's savior. That actually happened during 2015. But I'm really happy for Greece. Because if you trust the media, the Greek/EU financial crisis went the way of Ebola. It just disappeared. Seems like we can only handle one international crisis at a time.
4. BAE WENT THE WAY OF HASHTAG
Okay, I hate BAE. Really. Talk about the dumbing down of society. BAE is the literary equivalent of your Facebook friends who post unquantified research that makes all kinds of claims. You know, like yoghurt cures cancer or that sprinkling dirt on your toast reverses Parkinsons. BAE turned out to be 2015's hashtag. Glad people stopped using that. Except Merlene from Project Runway. I loved her for doing it.
5. WE STOPPED TALKING ABOUT BEN AFFLECK'S PEEN
Instead we focused on how much of a dick he is.
See, we can make progress as a race.
What are you thankful for.
1. EVERYBODY STOPPED TALKING ABOUT MICHAEL SAM
OK, don't get me wrong. Michael Sam is F-I-N-E. Now, I don't know anything about the NFL, but after more than a year of reading about Michael Sam I'm still none the wiser. How is it possible that in this day and age so much media hype was devoted to someone who never got given the chance to do what he was trained to do? Instead he was reduced to a DWTS contestant, a possible Grindr user and a target for more blatant homophobia from industry and media alike.
2. FROZEN BECAME A DISTANT MEMORY
I'm chalking this one up to ice bucket territory. You know, global warming actually achieved something positive. I think Global Warming should've been Time's 2015 person of the year for making all the Frozen stuff stop. Not Angela Merkel.
3. GREECE'S AND EUROPE'S ECONOMIC WOES SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED
Speaking of Merkel, wow, what a difference a year can make. She went from being the devil to Europe's savior. That actually happened during 2015. But I'm really happy for Greece. Because if you trust the media, the Greek/EU financial crisis went the way of Ebola. It just disappeared. Seems like we can only handle one international crisis at a time.
4. BAE WENT THE WAY OF HASHTAG
Okay, I hate BAE. Really. Talk about the dumbing down of society. BAE is the literary equivalent of your Facebook friends who post unquantified research that makes all kinds of claims. You know, like yoghurt cures cancer or that sprinkling dirt on your toast reverses Parkinsons. BAE turned out to be 2015's hashtag. Glad people stopped using that. Except Merlene from Project Runway. I loved her for doing it.
5. WE STOPPED TALKING ABOUT BEN AFFLECK'S PEEN
Instead we focused on how much of a dick he is.
See, we can make progress as a race.
What are you thankful for.
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