THANK goodness this year is almost over. I just can't anymore!
I've run out of patience for everything this week!
It's like my brain has decided it's already December 31 and the year is over.
Of course I have lists and lists of things that I'm happy about that have happened in this last year, and I'm also looking forward to the next few weeks and the year ahead.
But, let's face it. This year was, for the most part, a giant turkey. The world's not in a great place.
It may seem to you like there's little to be thankful, but actually, I've got a heap of them. 2015 may have been a shit, but it wasn't all bad!
I'm not going to bore you with a top ten list of the best things that have happened, though. I'm going to remind you of the things that didn't happen as they did in 2014. I mean, as a race, we are moving backwards, but culturally at least, we made some tiny progress.
Small mercies, people. Small mercies.
Here are the first five things that we should be thankful for not having recurred in 2015.
1. GLOBAL WARMING MADE THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE DISAPPEAR
Oh and thank God for that one. If I had to see one more idiot getting their thrills on ice I would've had a stroke. Seriously, I'm all for a good cause, but it seemed like 2014 was full of lost causes who just wanted to be the centre of their own attention. Thankfully we are approaching frightfully high temperatures around the globe, and ice has finally become a commodity that we can't afford to waste in these useless, self-centred kind of ways.
2. SELFIES GOT A BIT OF A STICK UP THEIR A**
I love to invent a new word every now and then, but I hate selfies. And I hate selfie sticks even more. But you know what I hate even more than that? Celebrity selfies and the media crapping on about how selfies was the word of the year in 2014. Well thank god that ain't the case anymore. I don't think I can handle yet another douche-bag with a camera.
3. THE KANYE WEST AND KIM KARDASHIAN SIDESHOW SOLD LESS EVERYTHING
Speaking of douche bags. 2015 looked like it was a step up because we didn't have to put up with a Florentine wedding, a Vogue cover story, a baby, a beef with Taylor Swift (but we got one with Beck), or Kim Kardashian's ass, like, everywhere. But, not sure if this one counts or not because instead we've not only had to put up with Kylie and the other Jenner , but also Caitlyn. And they all still have something to sell that nobody is that interested in.
4. YOUR ITUNES ACCOUNT WASN'T DIGITALLY RAPED BY AN UNWANTED U2 ALBUM
Speaking of selling something no-one was interested, U2 couldn't even give away their Songs of Innocence album and get people interested. They couldn't even force feed that stuff without making everyone chuck or *delete* it. Nobody tried that automatic download shit again. Not even Adele. We progressed as a race.
5. PEOPLE STOPPED WHISTLING HAPPY
OK, I don't know where you are, but where I am, they still play that shit on the radio. It's inescapable. But at least people have stopped whistling and singing that shit all the time. And although we had to endure that hat, at least we didn't have to endure Robin Thicke this year. I blame Pharrell for that brief hot minute where RT was everywhere. So did the courts.
I've got my next five ready and waiting... but you? What are your thoughts?
Dave Di Vito
Subscribe to the mailing list for information about upcoming releases and a free excerpt!
Dave Di Vito is a writer, teacher and former curator.He's also the author of the Vinyl Tiger series and Replace The Sky.
For information about upcoming writing projects subscribe to the mailing list.
Dave hates SPAM so he won't trouble you with any of his own. He promises.