CAN"T find the right piece of stationary for your upcoming nuptials? (Congratulations by the way.) You know it's so hard when it comes to planning a party or a reception and getting an accurate final count. So in that spirit, I've mocked up the perfect RSVP card for you guys and gals who are taking the plunge. Weed out those imposter friends of yours with my lovely, Paint assisted RSVPs. They'll make seating arrangements (and your future social life) ever so easy. Love, me.
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Music is dead, Sinead says, and Rolling Stone killed it. Well, I say, if you're turning to Rolling Stone to understand what's going on in the music world then I think we have a problem, Houston. I, like, about, say, 98% of the rest of the world am not a fan of Kim Kardashian. But Rolling Stone putting her on the cover of their mag is hardly the end of the world or the end of music. I mean, they've done this kind of thing a million times already, and getting the cover is not really a prestigious thing anymore, like it perhaps was back in Sinead's heyday. This new KK cover is no different to them putting Megan Fox or the girls from The Hills on their cover (or the Gossip Girls or Buffy or anyone else from TV land). Usually they just put hoary old rockers on the cover: people who off stage would be well and truly into their retirement, and only occasionally, one of the big profile pop girls might also get a cover. Perhaps they do it to appease the people in the news stands. A bit of rampant, T and A sexism gives the people that work in the stores a little respite from their month in month out geriatric care even if the bums and boobs make for PC challenging moments. Music isn't dead though. What is dead is journalism because Sinead's thinly veiled attack on KK, while I can applaud it on some level, doesn't really deserve front page status or the amount of clicks that it seems to be generating. The sad part is that what passes for journalism these days is simply trawling through someone's Facebook or Twitter account, adding a screenshot and, bang, story made. Like that Wendy Williams always trying to brew up a storm and usually failing. It's just everyone trying to keep up with the tide. But what I will give Sinead is that she's a master headline maker herself. She was right on the money last year or whenever it was when she used her social media platform to reach out to Miley Cyrus. Didn't go quite to plan though, because it's a new generation with new rules and new attitudes to things that aren't in step, but I think it was another case of her heart being in the right place (wrong time). And then it just got downright nasty... Very few people can court controversy like Sinead still can, but we don't have to worry: these outbursts have done nothing to overshadow her actual musical output over the years... oh wait. Perhaps at this point she might consider her own career in journalism. Hell, she could just create her own storm in a tea cup every time someone in the world pisses her off. She could call it Nobody Cares Bout U. People will lap that shit up and I'm sure KK's agent will even approach her at some point to get her on the cover or whatever. So while I could give a flying rat's about KK being on the cover of RS, I feel for Sinead, because she doesn't get that people under the age of 40 are already boycotting RS because that angle of music journalism is already dead to them. The kids ain't got no time for that. They're too busy on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, reading and understanding the world 140 characters at a time. They're not interested in a six page spread in Rolling Stone or NME for anything else but the bragging rights. This might be one of the few RS issues of the year that someone under the age of 60 actually buys. And I'm sure that there is just so much more to learn about KK that they'll get over the fact that music or journalism or whatever is dead or maybe just wait for someone to scan the pages, upload them onto some fansite and just read it from there. Europe is crying bitter tears at the moment. People are struggling to get in, people are being pushed out and it's become like a high school, except the cool crew are not the dominant faction. Instead, the nerds are the in crowd and get the final say about everything. And you can be sure they're making everyone and everything pay for their unpopularity. You picked on them for too long, and now they have risen up! They whip out statements like austerity measures, close the borders: it's Italy's problem, and the tribe has spoken you need to leave the Euro. Not nice nerd behaviour! Now, don't get me wrong as I've always been partial to the right kind of nerd action. I love me those arty nerds because I always wanted to be one myself but I just wasn't ever disciplined enough. But this coin gang that has its lunchtime meets in Brussels and Berlin... well I'm not a big fan of them. A good nerd knows that they should use their power for good and not to make the world worse. They've faced such adversity in their own lives that good nerds know that taking it out on other minorities is a big no no. Yes I'm talking to you Merkel with your anti gay marriage talk and your bullying tactics alongside Schauble. You two Christians are doing my head in with your demonic destruction of Europe and my nerdy dream of it being a paradise of thinkers, artists and romantics. Your [fiscal] paradise is [not for me]. But you can't bring me down and reduce me to your level! I know your game! You are trying to make this all a political thing. You want to be the political seat of power in Europe. And you've been succeeding. But what will your legacy be? And who else will step up after you with those snazzy two piece suits that you love so much? The answer doesn't matter. Because by the time your tenure is over, you'll have cooked the books but destroyed the international reputation of your country in the process. But I will always find a way to love Germany because all I need to do is look at my own government in Australia to see how unrepresentative it is of the average person and of how much that government is about representing banks, churches and other vested interests. So, I'm gonna do you nerds (yes you Angela, Wolfgang and your little lap dogs in Finland, Latvia etc) a solid. I'm gonna remind you that you are not in fact cool. You're the Abbott and co of Europe. And I feel I need to remind you that there were some super cool compatriots of yours that came out of Germany and basically made being German fashionable again. Yes that's right. I'm talking the amazing Snap! They were the bomb. Rhythm Is A Dancer is a classic that brought the world together and made us understand that Germany wasn't just about bier, but it was about techno too. Do you know how amazing the choreography in that video was? People were wearing shiny stuff all over the world at that time cos everybody wanted to be those people that nobody knew the names of. They wanted to be Germany! That is sovereignty! That is economic and social power! And The Power, that was the bomb too. And even when Germany provided the fakery it was still amazing. Two words. Milli Vanilli. They single handedly made it possible to wear a tux jacket with lycra cycle shorts. And yes, they were about as fake and illegitimate as the Eurogroup and its questionable legality but, at least people could hum along to their songs and dress like them. They weren't just fashion forward. They were fashion. Again, you didn't want to be them, you just wanted to be in a world that made being Milli Vanilli possible. And that was Germany! So you see, coin nerds, you may never find your way into my Top 25 Most Played playlist (that is the organic product of my obsessiveness and my constant Reset Playcount action) but you could be using your power and high profile to do some good shit for Germany and the world and helping the world continue to love you, to admire you and respect you. To want to be you! Cos if you keep going the way you are, you're gonna have to give back more than a couple of Grammys and I'm gonna have to spin a way of saying that I wanted to be both Nana Maskouri and Yanni. Help us all Germany. That David Bowie exhibition that the V&A put together is just about to open (on July 16) in Melbourne, where it will run until November (:(( Just my luck! It had a phenomenal run in London last year, and let's face it, Bowie deserved that kind of show: the acknowledgement that he sketched out the blueprint for other artists who came later and who took what he did visually and culturally to the next level. The museum game with music acts is still a hit and miss affair. I guess it depends on the themes that the curators pick up on and how they are presented. The Kylie Minogue exhibit worked really well in Australia and the UK because it was done without pretence- Kylie's costumes and the viewing of them are non threatening ways to acknowledge her presence and appeal to the masses. That show was a phenomenal public hit because it didn't attempt to dress Minogue up as an artist: it simply sought to document her get up as an entertainer. No lines crossed. And now that the collection finds its home in Melbourne you can even check out the collection digitally. Bjork's show at MoMA divided audiences and critics partly because there is very much a case of what is art vs what is popular culture: a divide too big for a show to answer even if it probably blew her fans away. Positioning a pop act as an artist or cultural force is a thankless task. Especially when they are seen to be active. There's always the risk that you come off looking like a Hard Rock Cafe. Memories are good but memorabilia does not (always) an exhibition make. It will be interesting to see the next act that gets immortalised with didactic panels and a catalogue. In the meantime, expect the Bowie show to drum up a lot of interest in Australia over the coming months. Info here. MORRISSEY has never been one to suffer from the cat's got my tongue. He was always hugely influential when he was making music that appealed to the alt masses. But there seemed to be a line that he crossed over which in some way seemed to kill his insightful (if aggressive) view of things and sent him into dangerous parody territory. He's more a small scale touring act these days than a recording artist but one whose sound bites attract outsized attention. I personally haven't paid too much attention to him in recent years- aside from when he released Ringleader of the Tormentors a few years back. Musically what he does is of little interest to me, but as always he is fascinating to watch from afar. Nobody in music is as capable of a good rant as Mozza. Usually Moz has a way of just inciting your eyeballs to roll and for your gut to respond jealous much? But at other times you kind of have to tip your hat to old grumpy pants (usually for the sentiment and not so much the particulars of the targets he name drops).
Take the latest zinger that is attributed to him while in Colorado for a show (and if you're Sam Smith or Ed Sheerhan- take cover).: "There are no bands or singers who become successful without overwhelming marketing,” he said. “There are no surprise success stories. Everything is stringently controlled, obvious and predictable and has exactly the same content. So, we are now in the era of marketed pop stars, which means that the labels fully control the charts, and consequently the public has lost interest. It’s very rare that a record label does something for the good of music. Thus we are force-fed such as Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith, which at least means that things can’t possibly get any worse. It is sad, though. There’s no spontaneity now, and it all seems to be unsalvageable.” The interview in its entirety over at Boulder weekly. AS I mentioned, when you live in Rome, despite the many grievances you might have with the way the city is run, there are very few things that unite all Romans. One of them is the abject stupidity and disrespect of visiting tourists who clearly get overwhelmed by the amazing city centre and treat it like a theme park or a water theme park in the summer months. You see, apparently, some people still think they are in a Fellini film when they visit Rome and that jumping into priceless, world heritage listed fountains is nothing to be ashamed of. Latest example of tourists gone wild? Wantedinrome reader posts photos of tourists swimming around in Bernini's recently restored Piazza Novana fountains. Expect a shit storm to (rightfully) explode. Seriously! Via Wantedinrome Facebook. M.I.A reveals what all that new fuss was for and joins the ranks of Apple music... Hong Kong songwriter Samuel Tam gets busted for filming another guy on the john...Classy pt.1 50 Cent gets more than just busted for his role in Rick Ross' ex girlfriend's sex tape. To the tune of $5m. Classy pt.2 George Michael responds to those allegations and confirms that the very fine Fadi Fawaz is still on his, erm...arm. How great. Bobby Brown's a dad again. UPDATE: 50 Cent files for bankruptcy protection just a day after that $5m verdict... I ONCE wrote a thesis on Japanese woodblock prints. It was called The Shift to Intimacy. It was a thesis that looked at how those kooky woodblock prints were the first form of mainstream and wide scale publication, but that were also the first form of public/private art that the public really took to. I remember doing a solid year of research on the topic, reading everything I could find, and scouring museum collections near and far to help me illustrate my point. Back then, I worked under the supervision of two really ace Japanese art experts who tutored me and helped me get a grasp of what Japanese art is all about. In doing so, I recall being struck by how the Boston Fine Arts museum was basically a treasure trove of Japanese art: the best collection of Japanese works outside of Japan (as a result of the mass sale of Japanese art to Westerners during the second world war). For a period of time I was obsessed with ukiyo-e - the floating world - and the old, traditional pleasure quarters of historical Japanese life. Once you get into that headspace, it's very difficult to get out of it. I lived in Kyoto for a couple of years. Loved the place. Just obsessed with it, even now. I dug Tokyo as a place to visit, but Kyoto for me at least, was always the more interesting and layered place (and a hop skip and jump to Osaka, Kobe and Nara). Kids, the Kansai is where it's at. Kyoto is seen as the traditional home of culture in Japan. It was the country's capital for a really long time, and largely escaped the WWII bombings that otherwise flattened the cities in Japan. As a result it's a living, breathing city that is teeming with thousands of years of its history: from wooden palaces to ugly, brass decorated glass buildings from the seventies. It's a living map of culture. One of the things you can do in Kyoto is visit the Nishi-ji Textile Centre. Kyoto, being home to the traditions and culture of the country, is also seen as the home of the kimono. At Nishi-ji you can try on amazing kimono, like the one I snapped my dear friend in in the above photo. But it's the real deal there: you have to put on like seven or eight layers of the fabric and it weighs a tonne. Dressing up in kimono or as a samurai, or even going the full scale and dressing as a geisha are among the kitschy things you can do in Kyoto and other parts of Japan. People have a fascination with that kind of stuff, and you can argue that playing dress ups in that context and that environment, regardless of your race or heritage, is a way of supporting the local economy and educating visitors by strengthening their ties to a foreign culture. Walk a mile in another man's shoes and all that. But there's been a big commotion in Boston in recent days at the Fine Art Museum. Among the objects in their collection is Monet's La Japonaise, which was a portrait of his wife Camille wearing a blonde wig and a kimono, surrounded by those other ubiquitous trademark items: paper fans. Let's just call it a period piece. It was a time when the European obsession with all things East was the norm and one of many contributions that made Japan, despite its distance, an enigmatic place on the map which seemed to scream culture and sophistication. Times have changed, and even on this blog I've noted how cultural appropriation is a huge controversy these days. While dressing up in traditional costumes or paying homage to cultural looks was still the norm even in the nineties, these days we are much more careful about things. Partly because we've revised the way East met West and because a lot of the way that we look at our differences is shaped by Western colonialism. That traditionally had a flow on effect with the exoticising or objectification of Asians (and of indigenous Australians, Africans, South Americans, Islanders etc. etc.). So what does that have to do with anything you ask my dears? Well, the Fine Art Museum attempted to tap into the current private/public fascination with art. You know, the one that finds its portal via social networks. Where people add a hashtag and tag themselves as being at blah blah blah place. The Boston Fine Art Museum attempted to take advantage of this by promoting Monet's piece and offering visitors the chance to dress up in a kimono (from their collections) and snap a photo of themselves (damn selfies!) alongside the work to be shared online. But not everyone is pleased, and in fact, the huge social outrage about this has led to the Fine Art Museum changing its approach. In the face of protests and people fuming online about yet more colonialism and objectification of cultures, the Museum has suspended the offer of dressing up but has instead ramped up the educational platform and its approach to getting visitors to engage with the kimonos in its collections. Is it an incorrect, imperialist context? Are we blowing things out of proportion, or is putting a kimono on in this way equal to black face? More at the NYT on this one, but I'd be curious to know your thoughts on the matter...let me know via the comments section. Yes, I had my rant on photography and the stupidity of the suggested EU Measures that were being suggested. But in the end the EU voted to protect Freedom of Panorama. Common sense prevails. Archaeologists working at Ostia Antica have requested support and protection of the site by way of a higher fence that will deter intruders. Rome's city administration is struggling- in trying to clean up the tentacle like reach of the Mafia Capitale, Romans are venting on the current mayor meaning it could be difficult to find funds and approval. More here-In Italian. Most cultural sites around Italy open their doors for free or longer hours during the spring and winter. Here in Puglia, possibly to capitalise on the huge number of visitors (hello Johnny Depp and Bruce Willis), cultural events with extraordinary hours taking place in July. Check out this archaeological collection featuring Apulian wares. (Link in Italian) So you thought the Melbourne Michelango was an affront? Or perhaps you loved it? Well try this Nefertiti in an Egyptian town: either way it won't leave you in two minds. If you like the Varoufakis meme as Spock that is doing the rounds again, you might like the memes that take it to the next level on this page. They were rounded up back in Feb and are still funny! |
Dave
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Dave Di Vito is a writer, teacher and former curator.He's also the author of the Vinyl Tiger series and Replace The Sky.
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